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Shutting the fuck up is one of the bravest, most difficult skills to master as a woman. Once you learn this ancient chinese secret, your relationship will blossom like never before!

ancient chinese secret

THE ART OF SHUTTING YOUR MOUTH

One of the most attractive skills a woman can learn is referred to by the Chinese as bey shu wong chu fi den woooo ming—or translated into English: SHUTTING THE FUCK UP.

As simple in concept as it may seem, knowing when to shut up can be more difficult than you realize. But once mastered, the skill of shutting the fuck up serves as one of the most powerful relationship-building tools a woman can wield!

KNOWING WHEN TO SHUT UP

THE GOLDEN RULE: You should always shut the hell up whenever your man tells you to.

There are many situations where you should be keeping your mouth shut. The fact of the matter is you probably have no idea when you should be shutting your mouth because nobody has ever bothered to teach you.

Here are some simple tips to help you muzzle that pie hole:

Arguing with your man is the absolute last thing you should ever be doing. Unless you have something nice to talk about, you should be off making him a god damn sandwich or on your knees making sure he’s happy. Any time you are tempted to open your mouth to confront, disagree, or complain about something you should remember this simple rhyme: will shutting the fuck up prevent the listener from imagining my head being shoved through a plate glass window?

It's much more productive to practice shutting your retard hole, or to simply do what is asked of you. If your man tells you to do something and you don’t feel like doing it, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO IT ANYWAY. Make sure you top off this time-tested technique with a beautiful smile because guess what? Your man will appreciate your efforts to do what he says without complaining. Your submissive attitude will make you a valuable and loveable girlfriend/wife.

"But what about equality? Don't I have my own unique voice?"

NO, retard. You must focus on discerning the difference between offering up a respectful opinion and annoying your man with nonsensical chatter. Your man is at liberty to consult with you when making decisions, but remember, your opinion is always subordinate to his will. Your man should ALWAYS make the final call. You need to practice shutting the fuck up, and letting him make the decisions. You should NEVER tell your man what to do. Don’t end up like this bitch who expects people to meet her every demand no matter how astonishingly terrible her attitude is:

Aspire to be this awesome girl who knows the value of hard work and a humble attitude:

TECHNIQUES FOR SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

There are some very simple key words you can identify when speaking to help you figure out if you should be shutting up. Here are a few examples:

Boyfriend: “Take out the garbage for me.”

You: "But I just—"

Stop with the god damn excuses! The second you say "but" you should realize that it’s time to shut up, smile, and say “Sure thing!”

Boyfriend: “Hey beautiful! Go upstairs, and get undressed I’ll be up soon."

You: “I don’t feel like it.”

WRONG. If your man tells you to do something, you better do it. Any time you think about starting a sentence with ‘I don’t feel,’ you should immediately label it as an opportunity for you to SHUT THE FUCK UP. When your man asks you for sex, you should be sprinting to the bedroom. You’re his girlfriend/wife. What the mighty motherfuck are you even thinking??

When you listen and eagerly do what is asked of you, your man will become deeply invested in you. Not only will he refrain from cheating or breaking up with you, but he’ll be physically unable to because he’ll constantly have your legs wrapped around his god damn waist! Remember, your attitude is as important if not more important than actually doing what your man asks of you.

Shutting up is an invaluable skill that will essentially become the backbone of any strong relationship. When you have mastered shutting up, you will have the ultimate tool for avoiding failed relationships and domestic violence.

This bitch hasn't learned to keep her mouth shut yet:

Have you?